mind over matter

My SAT scores came out last Thursday. What’s done is done, and it is a good thing that I am not weeping. I got a total of 1750, and although my national percentiles are all above average, I have to say that it was nowhere near my target score. I was hoping for 1850 at the very least, and since I knew it was impossible to surpass 2000 (not impossible, I just didn’t work that hard) I thought 1900 would be somewhat a good score to obtain. But 1750 it is. I had a hard time looking at my laptop screen, trying to decipher the numbers that appeared before me, and I think I blurted out quite a number of curses excuse me haha when I saw my score. I swear that I was exceptionally nervous, I was practically screaming my lungs out through the phone sorry jo heh you know me.

The best score so far is obviously Philip’s. I won’t say anymore, because I know he is the hardworking type, so he deserved every single point he received. He got a brilliant 1970, but he stated very clearly that “a resit is a must”. Haih, unfathomable, I know, but I am seemingly starting to get used to this kind of reaction. People around me are no doubt, excessively smart and are perfectionists. Haha, this is why I frequently wonder where I fit in their circle.

Actually, the scores wouldn’t have bothered me very much if it wasn’t for those private universities. I know that my scores are good enough to gain entry into any public universities in the states, despite my low writing percentile. But 4 years isn’t a short period of time, I definitely wouldn’t want to live in a rural area for that long. Some people might feel indifferent about this, and I get the fact that my reason is somewhat silly, but I don’t want my university years to be away from civilization. Okay haha that was harsh. Most of the private universities Stanford esp heh I’m obsessed are situated close to the cities. Call me a brat, but I can’t help it if I am a city girl at heart. I have always known that rural areas and I don’t blend well, so why gamble on that? I don’t think I’d be able to live in a place where I have to take a 2 hour train ride just to window shop. I like walking. I would even walk by myself just to fill in spare time, to kill the boredom. I’m proud to say that I’m pretty independent that way. Those train rides would drive me absolutely insane in no time. And living near the canyons might be fun for the first few months, but 4 friggin years? One can only endure in so many rocks as everyday view, obviously.

So now I’m just going to put this off. I have 2 months to think whether or not I want to repeat the test. I loathe the process, but if it’s worth the while, than I guess I will just have to get along with it. Sigh.

I went to sleep in the wee hours in the morning because I was so absorbed with Twilight. And Chemistry is this Friday.

I should really start studying.