fight with your bare hands about it.

yeah okay. so i wish that some people would actually take some responsibility. i wish that some would speak up.i wish that some would actually mean what they say. i wish that some would actually care. i wish that some would have the initiative to get some work done without having to wait for someone to actually ask them to do it. i mean like hey, do some thinking please. non of us are working machines, but it works both ways la kan?
post botb, & i'm exhausted and highly dissapointed. i think that sums it all now, does it not?

what makes a real man is the ability to restrain himself from wanting to prove to the world that he is one.
&there is, obviously, a scarcety of them.

down to the core

i have never realised that boiling water smells so good.

i am a huge green tea addict. i really am. i'd feel unfulfilled without green tea, any day given. hahah. gl hiperbola. but yeahh. i wonder if it is bad sometimes, but i can't help loving green tea, it is my fave after air kosong (see, i'm very modest kan, fave drink pun air kosong hahah). i so lovelovelove the person who invented green tea (of jasmine type, especially).
audition for botb is tomorrow, and i'm nervous, excited, worried, etc, you get the point. & i can't wait for it to be over, that will be a load off the chest. i hope everything will turn out alright, plsplspls pray for me, i'd love you for a lifetime :)
i thought i had a lot to say, but hmm. i don't know what to type now hahah.
i feel very weird lately lah tapi. i get this sinking feeling constantly, i get moody and all sappy and sad hahah, god i feel like a drama queen. pls lah ayms, you have got to grow up.
i guess i have been a lot of things lately too. haha, i miss all those i remembers i wrote in my last entry.
& i really really want to have a watergun fight. macam foooh best. but i have no one to play with. how sad is that?
okay non-PMS mode :)
i'm starting my guitar lessons on april 6th. my teacher's name is adi, sounded very nice on the phone, he totally laughed with me when i apologised for calling him like for the gzillionth time, i hope he really is nice though, because yeah, i can be a dumbo when it comes to all these so called high tech (!) instruments, like the guitar. ahaha, how ketinggalan can a girl be. i hope he has a high level of patience too, alamak takut pulak all of the sudden. i just don't want to look stupid :(
i had a chem test last tues, scored pretty okay too, but i wasn't satisfied because the questions were the exact same questions that he gave in the handouts. doesn't really affirm that i understand chem now, does it? i really wish that i have this genius, intelligent brain that is able to absorb any given information. so that i can actually do science.
sometimes i wish i could just become a wedding planner. at this point the temptation is crucial, but i had my choices back then didn't i? and i chose this. so yeah, i guess i have got to make the best of it. at least i don't have to suffer in stillettoes haha. not at all near my favourite footwear list. not at all.

i wish i could smell like boiling water.

& with that, i bid you fellas a warm goodbye.
thanks for reading this little (most of the time, odd) pieces of my
brainy (most of the time with sesunguts) thoughts.

near to you.

i really, really want to change my template lah, but blogger's templates are just so dull and i am so not in the mood to hop from one site to another to look for a nice template. malas lah.
just watched alvin & the chipmunks, the most adorable thing on planet earth! i especially love theodore, he is just so effing adorable!
oooh, i really miss weekends. weekends do come lah kan actually, that is inevitable literally because there is no way we can control the time and let the weekends dissapear like kapoooof! all of the sudden, but i don't really get weekend-like weekends these days. i was so restless today (well, actually it's yesterday bcs it's already 2 am now but yeah, you get the point right?), i could not do anything productive at all. and i was so emotional when i listened to songs that are not even sad pun, i don't get the way my brain works sometimes. sigh.
and i feel like i haven't been much of a good friend lately, i rarely ring dyra and joyce anymore bcs of the hectic schedule and stuff. i'm sorry guys.
so yeahh. i hate to say that i'm stressed out; egocentric and all; but i so very terribly am. with tests, minimum grades, personal statement, AS, and the neverending drama. honestly, a girl can handle only one too many conflicts la ok? and i can't really say anything about how much i don't want to care about these unnecessary conflicts since they are bende bodoh je, but i don't know why and how i ended up having to put my nose in all these irrelevant matters.
foooooof okay change of topic now. i went to pyramid today, my opinion on it still stands, i just don't like it there. the shops are okay lah, they have springfield anyway (super duper yummy shoes!) but i give a zero on layout. pening gila lah.
eishh. now i feel like jotting down i remembers :)
so okay. i remember:

1. walking in the rain with aeisyah & chub.
2. kene kejar by monkeys in penang with my brother.
3. getting Ds for science and maths in form 2.
4. hockey baby, yeahh!
   
5. rooftop terbakar.
6. kitar semula.
7. mtv's you're my love kamikaze advert, that was hilarious!
8. senario's lap lip lap lip lap song. hahahah.
9. sinar 2005, my pride :)
10. clake & heart, hahah, taktau kenape, takde point betul.
11. cheeky girls, omg haha.
12. this one time when i tied my kain sembahyang's knot too tightly that i couldn't get it off me after hajat prayer at school. that was so embarrassing.
    
13. oral bahasa mase form 2. sarah was so hilarious, she sounded like a pure indon, i still remember how hard it was to restrain myself from laughing. pn zuraida pun gelak ok. it was that bad haha.
14. the bun that i had to wear during merdeka's celebration, and that awful, awful blue eyeshadow. and all the blisters from the heels. erk.
15. how bad i cried when i lost my camera :(
16. nasi goreng sri permata. sedap gilaa okay!
17. this one time when everybody cried after hearing that a meteor is about to hit earth. shazwan was like, lets all get on the plane and head to down under. hahah. we're still here now, so i guess the meteor decided not to come for a visit :)
18. recording a brand new day.
19. confronting muffin in front of the whole class. where the hell did i get the drive to do so?
    
20. 1.5 year. that was really the best of the best. hehe.
21. dengue, it was awful, but i felt so loved lah mase tu hahah. gedik.

that's about it for now. hahah. stupid stuff huh? but they are all sugar, spice and everything nice. i treasure every moment of it heehee.

sigh. such a solitary moment :(
i could seriously use a bear hug. & a long phone conversation.
please.
but am guessing it's too much for a wish huh?
guess it is.

i just realised that i actually have very few posts here. i mean come on, my january posts are still on display haha. i should write more, shouldn't i? heheh.
AS and SAT are drawing near, and yes, like i said in the last post, i can feel the heat already. everybody is preparing for the major exams, and that, unfortunately, includes me. i was surprised myself when i had the drive to revise. guess i must have had a cause there, huh? this studying abroad is a huge thing and i seriously, seriously want this very badly. i think i am even starting to have passion in the course that i am going to take later as an undergraduate. physics & maths? oh so bring it on!
though, i have been worrying about my personal statement. i don't really have anything to put as my supporting sidelines - the things that i do apart from college. god, talk about some real painful reality spank. i feel slightly useless these days. which lead to me signing up as a volunteer at hati. i really hope that they will give me some charity work to do soon. looking on the bright side, this might be good as i have always intended to volunteer but never had the chance to - or more likely did not know how to. this might be a great chance to contribute to the society. bile lagi kan? heheh. apart from that, i think that i might be starting the guitar lessons soon, again, for the personal statement (and also self indulgence, yay).
things have been hectic lately, with the neverending dramas and heavy workload. it is just too bad that i won't be getting a real break until august (i know, bummer) especially now that i need one.
speaking of a demanding break, the pillows seem to be calling my name now. and that means goodbye!

somewhere in between.

having remote controls for everything is a disadvantage. trust me. it really is. i spend at least 10 minutes looking for my remote controls everytime i am in shah alam. seriously, a lot can be done in 10 minutes, and i can assure you that searching high and low for small so-called sophisticated electronics is not worth wasting that much of time.
or maybe it is just a sign that i should be cleaning up the never ending mess in my room. ugh, but then i still hate having to look for all my remote controls, it is so annoying. why does everything have to be controlled from far anyway?

okay maybe remote controls are meant for lazy people like me. but then lazy people don't really clean up their rooms right?

the point is, i need bigger remote controls. sigh.

whowww. none of you have the idea of how glad i am that college is over for the week (sadly, only for the week, i have college on monday, friggin again). i seriously feel that my life is way unorganised and that everything is out of place. now, isn't that pretty normal, heh. but it is so serabut lah.
AS is sooooo close. soo close, i can feel the heat babeeee!
i have been sick for a few days now but whatever, i know that the hormones are to be blamed, i hate how unstable my body can be at times when i need it to be stable. which is practically all the time. i didn't attend classes on friday because i thought that i should get some proper rest. felt a whole lot better in the afternoon, so i went out with the girls. watched martian child with ash while the rest watched jumper. it is such an irony that a lot of movies these days are potraying father-child bonding, hmm. well the word irony was probably a bit out of place there. well maybe not to me.
whatever it is, i'm still down with flu, my voice is very very husky right now, it is so funny.

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so right, am just going to jot down a few things that happened this week. spend a few hours of the night (more like morning actually, but morning/night? i don't really have a clue) at the Uni Hospital because Lau was sick. had to call a cab at 3 in the morning since arfah brought back the car and get this, i don't think any of the guys will survive if an earthquake strike because they sleep as if they are already six feet under. ash and i banged on the door of the 5th floor unit like two phsychotics and none of them had the urge to wake up? i need not mention the number of phone calls i made. one word, two syllables. hope. less. but then it amuses me to the bones when i think about it. haha.
Uni Hosp was an experience. i think their medical officers should seriously revise on ethics. the officer attending to lau was really rude, he actually told her not to act like a child since it was 4 in the morning. i was like, excuse me, we're all here at 4 in the morning you idiot. we need our sleep too, and obviously your crankiness isn't helping. urghhh. after all the commotion, this is so hiperbola beyond belief, we took the cab back to the condo. reached there at about 6 and hit the bed.

oooh. and azree turned 19 on feb 27th. bought him an ALI t-shirt as a present, shared with the girls. we gave it to him at midnight, saw his room, omfg, our room looks like a shipwreck compared to his. pengsan sikit. nevertheless, happy 19th birthday azree, i wish you all the best things in the milky way ((:

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suddenly i have a lot to talk about lah pulak kan. so now i want to talk about marriages. mwahah. okay no. actually i want to talk about realtionships leading to marriages. i figured that it is a pretty sensitive issue but i also think that there is nothing wrong with putting my thoughts here.

right. okay. so now.

i think that some people should really cool down on putting marriage as a goal to their relationships. excuse me that i don't put marriage as a priority in my life, at least not right now. i will probably get married in my late 20s that is, if i ever do haha and that should be about 10 years from now. 10 years. a lot can happen in 10 minutes, think of what massive changes can happen in 10 years. and that is why i think that some of the school/college couples should not get too excited about ending up together.
now, now. don't get me wrong okay. i am not indicating that i do not want the relationship to work out. as a matter of fact, i will give my best to make it work. i just don't want to put too much of hope, and seriously, i don't plan. if it works out, then yayy! but if it does not, then what can we do about it right? leave it be.
at this age, there are still so many things that we have not seen, so many corners that we have not explored, and we have only met so few people. there are huge possibilities of meeting other people, it is a big world afterall and it does not only revolve around us. how can u make a significant someone as your world already when you have not been to other parts of it? i understand how everyone desires to love and to be loved oh geeeez but do not get carried away. besides, should anything happen, it will hurt less if we do not put too much hopes on it. hmm.

right then. i actually had a lot to say but considering the fact that i am not in a very healthy condition, i decided to surrender to the calling of my pillow. i also have the feeling that mr writer's block has arrived for a visit, so cheerios! will write more sooooon, promise :)